The New Swinger Couple Drop Out Effect
The new swinger couple drop out effect is something that challenges many couples who take their first major step into the swinger lifestyle without immediately achieving what they were hoping for.
Typical examples of this drop out effect are:
- Joining a swinger club and then not plucking up the courage to attend any of its events.
- Arranging a swinger date with another couple who fail to turn up.
- Having a first-time swinger date with a couple who don’t match up to their profile claims.
- Attending their first swinger party only to leave before it got sufficiently warmed up. (Very often couples who do this subsequently claim that they “Waited all night for something to happen but it never did”. )
- Attending their first swinger party but not feeling attracted towards any of the other guests.
- Finding something else about a swinger date or swinger party that was not to their liking.
You’ll never get swinging unless you push the swing
Swinging is like most other things in life. If you look for things that are wrong, you can be sure to find them. If you expect everything to be perfect on your first try, it rarely will be and your most likely reaction will be to not persevere any longer.
The new swinger couple drop out effect examples listed above are most commonly experienced by two types of people. One are those who either consciously or unconsciously actually wanted to make swinging fail. It can be just one partner who is responsible or it might sometimes both partners. Either way, at some level or another, there was a wish to get out of their decision to embark on the swinger lifestyle.
The other type of people are those who genuinely do want to enjoy a swinging lifestyle but who have insufficient patience, tolerance and maturity to recognise that it can take perseverance and some courage to get underway.
Ultimately, no amount of counselling or advice can change the inevitable outcome the first type of couple will experience. They are simply not ready to embark on the swinger lifestyle and one can only suggest that they spend more time listening to one another and learn to accept that swinging can only ever be right when both partners are one hundred per cent up for it. I aim the following swinger-lifestyle success tips at the other type of people.
Join a good online swinger dating site
Anyone who is serious about wanting to get started on the swinger lifestyle will need to join an online swinger dating (or adult dating) site. This is without doubt the best way to find and meet other swingers but just becoming members and sitting back for the dates and invitations to start coming is not enough. Firstly you will need to put real effort into the creation of your profile and to ensure success you will need to take the initiative in making contact with other members. Most important of all is to persevere in finding, contacting and meeting it even when things don’t go so well. Shrug off the disappointments, the times where others fail to turn up for the meetings you arrange, or the times when the people you meet fail to match your expectations.
Getting the most from swinger parties
It can take a lot of courage to turn up to a first time swinger date but attending your first swinger party require even more nerve. Even after having dealt successfully with those pre-party nerves, many people experience yet more anxiety within a few minutes of arriving at an event. If you think about it for a moment, even a friend’s birthday party can sometimes seem a bit intimidating when you walk into a room full of strangers.
The way to overcome both the pre-party anxiety and the party nerves themselves is to understand and accept two things. One is that at any given event there will be plenty of other absolute newcomers. The other is that you will never be the only anxious person and the chances are that there will be plenty of others who are experiencing much worse anxiety than you.
Getting the most from swinger clubs
Joining a swinger club is a very similar situation to attending a private house party, although some people say they find the idea less daunting. In reality this is a false perception because swinger clubs, like all other types of club, are dominated by regular patrons who can be very cliquey. This sort of behaviour is likely to add an extra layer of social anxiety to events held at clubs as opposed to those hosted elsewhere.
The best way newcomers to the swinger lifestyle can deal with these perfectly understandable fears is to feel the fear and do it anyway and to do so in the certain knowledge that you will neither be the only newcomers nor the most nervous people there.